January 14th, 2009

mood: distressed

So my sister and her husband are getting back into the country next Tuesday.

This would be momentous enough concidering they've been gone since like March but the fact that my sister is currently 6 months pregnant makes things...interesting.

You know that feeling where a fact just doesn't seem quite real yet? Well it probably won't fully hit me til I see her. Which will be great concidering all of Terrance's family will probably be there. At least the get together is at Andy's house and she's the one member (apart from Terrance) that I actually get along with.

The really scary thing is for the past week I've been like getting all gooey over baby stuff (I'm so going to buy some funky little purple and black outfits for the kid) which is more than a little disturbing. I don't like getting all girly especially over this sort of stuff. I mean those emotions have been shut off for a reason.

So in short I'm freaking out.


(4) so tied up you don't know how she came

August 26th, 2008

(public) This Was Too Amusing To Pass

Your result for The Kinkyness Test...

Pretty kinky!

Grats! You're 77% kinky!

You kinkscore is pretty high. Most likely you're up for trying anything at least once, which show open-mindedness. You're probably a great lay, so just keep doing that thing you do!

Take The Kinkyness Test at HelloQuizzy

so tied up you don't know how she came

July 30th, 2008

On the verge of tears and pissed off to the point of disbelief is not the best way to start the day.

Can I please trade in my dreams for someone elses? Cos I really can't take much more of this. I mean I've gotten used to being thrown into the middle of somebody elses life and just having to deal with things from their point of view and what's happening around them no matter how weird or strange it might be. But why the fucking epicly vivid emotions? Why do I have to fucking feel everything they go through so bloody much?

And then they linger afterwards. I mean the lostness and utter despair aren't my emotions. They're hers and yet I can't get rid of them. The anger on the other hand is entirely mine. Anger to the point of rage at the unforgivable human stupidity of the people surrounding her. No they may not have been the ones to make her this traumatized and broken but they were the ones who were supposed to care, to help. And that's what fucking hurts the most. My fingers are aching with want to tear these fuckers limb from limb and do you wanna know the best part? They don't even fucking exist! Either does this girl who I feel so strongly about, care far more about than most people I know and I don't even know her name.

So this is what my subconscious cooks up for me. And what is the point? What is it fucking trying to prove? That people are fucked? Yep know that one. That all you have is yourself and that even the people who are supposed to love you will kick you while your down? Learned that one a long time ago. That having any faith in humanity is entirely futile and masochistic? Well maybe there is a slight shred left. That I should give up on this fucked up world and just get off it? Well that's seeming like a better and better idea.
(3) so tied up you don't know how she came

July 14th, 2008

(public) LOL

Your Thinking is Concrete and Random

You are naturally inquisitive and curious.

You're excited by new ideas, and you are a true independent thinker.

You are interested in what is possible. You like the process of discovery.

You are often experimenting, challenging old ideas, and inventing new concepts.

Rules, restrictions, and limit don't really work for you.

You have to do things your own way, and you can't be bothered to explain yourself.

so tied up you don't know how she came

June 24th, 2008

(public) Sodomy, It's Between God and Me!
mood: roflmao

And now for today's dose of crackalicious delight I bring you...

Harry Potter and the Fractured Fairy Tales by ntamara ( Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5)

A delicious romp through hilarity twisting and sometimes outright breaking various fairy tales as it goes. A healthy dose of Harry/Lucius, some "well meaning" friends, a twinkling eyed Dumbledore, far too much information about house elves and Ah, Severus (seriously I can't read those words without falling out of my chair).

If you need a good laugh, as I'm sure we all do, go read.

Trust me.

(2) so tied up you don't know how she came